Kiss
Puke
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
Randomize
