It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
