I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
Randomize
