# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
Randomize
