Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
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