It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
Randomize
