We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
Randomize
