Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
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