I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
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