My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
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