Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
Randomize
