I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
There's even glitter on my cock...
Randomize
