I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
