I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
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