We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Randomize
