No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
