How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Randomize
