it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
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