Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Randomize
