so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
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