I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
