Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
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