Rock
Scissors
Fuck
I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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