I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
Randomize
