i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Randomize
