Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
Do vagina's smell?
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
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