I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Randomize
