now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
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