I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
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