Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
Randomize
