he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
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