That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize