were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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