i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
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