Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
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