lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
Randomize