True or false: I did not bring home a 28 year old last night.
True? Did she teach you things?
She taught me the meaning of awkward goodbyes at 530 am.
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
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