The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
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