I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
Randomize
