I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
