is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
My pussy is not your playground.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
