Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
It was confusing and full of hummus
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
Randomize
