Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
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