The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
Randomize