what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
Randomize
