summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
Randomize
