True but thats because hes a fetus.
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
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