Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
Randomize
