the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
look no pants
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
Randomize
