Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
Randomize
