he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
Randomize
