I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
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