so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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