So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
Randomize
