Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Randomize
