if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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