Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
Randomize
