Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
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