careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
is it fun? or sober?
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