Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
Randomize
