I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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