I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
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