this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Randomize
