no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Randomize
