That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
Randomize
